Two words: Giant shipping.
COSMA AND LEM GO ON A DATE FOREVER
Lem gazed into Cosma's fifteen eyes.
Cosma gazed into Lem's sixteen eyes.
"Lem," she whispered, and her voice was like the faintest breath of wind on a clear spring day in the middle of Groddle Meadow. Such a breeze would only wake the button flowers, which would stop drooping but not do much else. Anyway, this is how Cosma addressed Lem.
Lem said, "Yes?" He had many voices and they all sounded like Glitchen. He had more voices than he had eyes and tentacles combined and that's saying something.
"I think...you have more eyes than me," Cosma whispered.
"I do," said Lem. He couldn't really whisper because when he did it still sounded like the loud hissing of a giant snake. (He didn't know what a snake was but decided it must be some sort of lawn mower based on the auditory description just given. He didn't know what a lawn mower was either.)
"How could you!" Cosma screamed, her less-than-Lem's eyes filling up with cerulean tears. "How could you have more eyes than me? I trusted you, Lem!! I--trusted--you! And you decided to have more eyes!"
"But Cosma--you butterfly!" Lem said. (We're not sure if that was an insult or what.) "You know my eyes have always been the same--I haven't grown more or anything since, well, forever!"
"YOU MONSTER!" Cosma screamed, and called upon her butterfly minions to assault Lem.
"Cosma," Lem said, looking deep into her eyes.
"Lem," Cosma said, looking deep into his.
"I must tell you something," said Lem.
"Y-yes?" Cosma barely dared to breathe.
Lem chose his words carefully. Spoke them carefully, too.
During Friendly's Giant Zilloween Party, Cosma turned from the drinks table, looked at Lem, and winked.
She closed exactly half of her eyes.
She had fifteen.
Lem didn't sleep well that night.
"I am in charge of directions," said Lem.
"I am in charge of butterfly farts," said Cosma.
Lem stared deep into Cosma's eyes.
"It's just us, you know. Us here together," he said.
"Just me," Lem continued, thinking up a speech on the spot. "And you."
"And me!" Friendly screamed. "YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!"